How I Navigated the Challenges of Living with Depression
Discover Personal Strategies and Insights for Embracing Life Despite the Darkness
Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery?
My latest article, ‘How I Navigated the Challenges of Living with Depression,’ is a heartfelt narrative that offers a unique perspective on battling depression and finding Light amidst the darkness.
This powerful story takes you through the initial struggles to transformative self-discovery and shares profound insights and strategies that will help you become resilient and hopeful. Get ready to be inspired, enlightened, and empowered as you dive into an exciting experience that will resonate with those facing similar battles and enlighten others about the complexities of mental health.
Let’s explore the strength of the human spirit in overcoming life’s most daunting challenges together!
Depression is a signal your heart and mind send you to quit the role you are in. That is not for you.
I will never forget how the depression feels. It’s a situation only the person knows who lives with it. Any other person never feels the hell I experience inside my head. After this, I will never be the same person I completely changed inside out. My mind is like a storm, bombarded with ideas, thoughts, questions, and possibilities.
There is a high intensity of negative energy surrounding me in this phase. It feels like a dark cloud hanging on my head. Confusing and mixing all my realities.
I want to remember this feeling not because of self-pity. I want to remember to avoid this experience in the future as much as possible.
Depression is an unseen rival, weaving its roots in one’s existence. I found myself sinking deep in the sea of agony.
However, we are not born with this state of mind. It starts from somewhere: a Psychological factor, Biological factors, Stressful life events, Chronic Pain, or Medical Conditions.
I give you an example from my life. It can help you to understand your story.
The origin of my depression lies in February 2022. In 2021, I graduated with a degree in Computer Science from my university. I am the first girl in my family to graduate among my cousins, uncles, and aunts. I plan to do something online. I have yet to gain prior experience or someone around me who can guide me. I have to try all the possibilities by myself. Here, I learned a lesson from my life: There are a lot of opportunities in the universe. “So, Fail fast and move to new things.”
I watched tutorials on YouTube, and I could do it. I watch, research, and read a lot. Many success stories are there, even though there are no stories about failures. “Failures are our best teachers”.
In my family, there is no story of success and failure. In the Outer world, there is a lot of noise on social media and social circles. Everyone tells you what they think well. I am at the stage where I am not in a state to decide what is best for me. I listened to them and chose to register for the Amazon course. This course is about how to do Amazon business or handle others. Boom! Here, I lay the foundation of my journey of agony.
I did not understand the law:
“Life is not about outside in; it’s about inside out.”
I took all the classes and coursework and tried to find a client. But I failed. That’s another story. I can tell you the moral of this story: “Amazon is not for me.” After this, I tried different things: designing, web development, a job, and preparing for a competitive exam. Things are getting worse. On 3 November 2022, my mother had a heart attack, which was a terrible experience for me. I can’t explain it here in words. Everything became the basis of my major depression. Due to this, I got into an accident, and it caused me a head injury. Imagine having a depression, not a major one, and then a head injury.
I found that I face a major depression with psychotic features. Alternative names: Psychotic depression and delusional depression.
It feels like there is something unfortunate going to happen, like
someone’s death or any other major incident.
Have an extreme fear of death; this fear comes from hopelessness and the thought there is nothing left behind, guilt.
Wrong beliefs about the body, health, and hallucination.
High level of difficulty in concentrating or making decisions.
Feelings of being worthless.
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities I enjoyed.
Being scared and tired at the same time.
Want friends but hate socializing.
Wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely.
Pretend like I don’t care despite things and behaviors killing me inside.
Depression arrives as a shadow, blending with your being; when acknowledged, it intertwines with your identity. It induces a sensation of the world crumbling, leaving you with nothing but a vacant gaze.
I decided to change:
“Depression isn’t always dark rooms and crying endlessly. Sometimes it’s getting up, going to work, and smiling and laughing all day and then coming home to sit quietly doing little to nothing until it’s time to go to bed.” ― Jenzilla.
Living in this way is too much to bear. I have to change myself, my thinking, and my behavioral patterns: Rather than confirming others’ expectations, I will focus on what I can do. The world may acknowledge them at a minimum level, but most importantly, I can appreciate myself. I quit my job even though I didn’t have any backup plan. That night, I sensed freedom in the sky, where I could reach out and touch any star of my choosing. They all are there for me. From my experience, I realize I can’t do a job. I decided to break the conventional patterns of society. Here is the response to the question, “How do I protect myself from depression?”
Journaling
I beat depression without the help of any doctor or psychologist. I find my Light in the darkness. Imagine a dark room with a spot of Light.
Start with living your depression and make it your power, lethal power. Individuals dealing with depression possess unique qualities. We have to embrace our wounds and love them.
“I said: what about my eyes?
He said: Keep them on the road.
I said: What about my passion?
He said: Keep it burning.
I said: What about my heart?
He said: Tell me what you hold inside it.
I said: Pain and sorrow.
He said: Stay with it. The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
― Rumi
“I have found that journaling is a powerful tool for healing and self-improvement. By writing down my thoughts, analyzing my past experiences, and identifying my mistakes, I have been able to self-evaluate and improve myself.
I am motivated to write because I know that it benefits me in many ways. I make a habit of writing down my goals and aspirations, which helps me keep them at the forefront of my mind.
I also write about my feelings and the lessons I’ve learned from life, which allows me to process my emotions and gain valuable insights. Writing is a gift that I have discovered within myself, and I am grateful for the opportunity to use it to better myself and my life.”
I started embracing my wounds by journaling. I started writing my thoughts, including all scenarios of my mind and past experiences, and analyzing my mistakes. I started self-editing myself. However, my motivation to write lies in the realization that writing is for my benefit. I know my goals. I habitually write them on paper, in files, and in diaries but have yet to return to them. These goals are incorporated into my subconscious mind. I also write about my feelings and lessons I learned from life. I did not notice, however, that writing is a gift I was born with.
It helps to clear the fog in my mind.
To my utmost surprise, I discovered subjects that captivated my interest -areas with significant potential in the world. I developed a profound passion for them during this period.
I consistently tell myself, “You must achieve these goals; if you remain in this state, your story remains unsung. Your story deserves to be sung!”
Stop People-Pleasing
I also stop people-pleasing. This is a skill I learned with time. Start to say no to the things for which my heart and mind tell me NO.
In your silent battles, where no cheers resound,
Your heart and mind stand firm, in their love profound.
When doubts cloud your worth in the world’s weary view,
They whisper truths, in echoes only known to you.
In their unyielding care, find your strength, your guide,
For in their steadfast love, your true self resides.
I always try to gain approval for whatever I am doing. I thought
They would love me;
Appreciate me and
Support me.
Here is the twist: it’s your journey, and you are alone in it.
In the whole universe, you stand alone, unique. I grasped this concept initially and attempted to accept it. Although it posed challenges initially, I achieved it within four to six months.
From that point, I stopped thinking about what others wanted from me first; I had to focus on what my mind, heart, and soul craved.
I make sure for myself to remember that learning this lesson does not mean that nobody loves me. My family, friends, everyone loves me; however, my journey is unique; they can’t experience me; I can’t experience them. We have to coexist.
“Half of life is lost in charming others.
The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others.
Leave this play. You have played enough.” ― Rumi.
Yes! I played enough on the stage others set for me. Now, I design my stage.
I find life is not outside in, it’s inside out.
Gratitude:
Its science. A few years back, Grammy award-winning singer LeeAnn Rimes spoke to Inc. about how the Thanksgiving habit changed her life. She used to write a Thanksgiving list every night.
Gratitude works like a magnet. It attracts things in your life for which you pay gratitude. It helps you to create everything you want in the future. It is a way of life.
Gratitude can activate neurotransmitters, which release dopamine and serotonin. These neurotransmitters are responsible for our emotions and contribute to happiness, pleasure, and overall well-being.
I started making my gratitude lists on Microsoft Word documents. Write anything for which you are thankful. Read these lists once a day, compulsory. This habit solidifies positive neural pathways in my mind, and I attract positive things.
“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Everything is energy. Gratitude can change your energy into a positive. Practicing gratitude fills your heart with sunshine! According to quantum physics, it helps you notice the little things that spark joy and remind you of the beautiful blessings in your life.
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get the reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” ― Albert Einstein.
How neuroplasticity helps to create new habits.
When you start these habits of gratitude and helping others, your mind starts making new neural pathways, and old pathways are getting removed. This is not a myth. It’s a science called neuroplasticity. It’s beautiful.
The basic principle of neuroscience says: “Neurons that fire together, wire together”.
For Example: Think of your brain as a city with a network of roads. Roads are used more often, and the connection between the places it connects becomes more efficient. The roads rarely used become weaker.
Our brain is working in the same way. When a part of the brain becomes frequently active, it gets stronger at getting signals. This change is crucial for learning new things.
Our brain is working in the same way. When a part of the brain becomes frequently active, it gets stronger at getting signals. This change is crucial for learning new things.
Conclusion:
We all have different experiences. You can share your experience with me.
When we work towards overcoming our depression, adopting new habits and learning new things is pivotal. We have to break ourselves free from habits that cause us depression. Depression is a nightmare, though there is a beauty hidden in our imperfections; we must learn to love them. If we cannot love them, who else can? Remember, self-appreciation is paramount, and by embracing yourself, you’ll discover the presence of your soul.
